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I'm just gonna put this here...

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I'm just gonna put this here...

Post by 7 on Tue Jun 09, 2009 8:23 pm

Spoiler:
Woke up, fell out of bed
Dragged a comb across my head

Found my way downstairs and drank a cup
And looking up, I noticed I was late
*huff, huff, huff*
Found my coat, and grabbed my hat
Made the bus in seconds flat

Found my way upstairs and had a smoke
Somebody spoke and I went into a dream

The Beatles, "A Day In The Life," Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, 1967
---

I awoke in the middle of a forest, surroundings unknown.
I felt my hand reach into a bowl.
A bowl? What was that doing there?, I thought...as the answer no sooner came to me; there was a little girl lying behind a tree.
Or, rather, I assumed it was a girl, as I could only hear a high-pitched whimper.
It must be hers.
I stared in the direction of the noise.
As I had predicted, a little girl was lying in the fetal position, presumably sleeping.
She must be having a nightmare, I assumed as I quietly walked over to her.
She awoke, startled, and was further startled as she noticed me walking to her.
I removed my coat and placed it around her as I sat next to her.
She was rather scared and she asked me, in a frightened tone of voice,
"W-what are you doing?"
I realized I had no idea. I didn't even know the girl.
"I wonder," I casually said. That was my modus operandi, confuse the heck out of people to make them talk.
She looked at me, at first with fear, then with bewilderment.
"I know you're a good person," she finally said.
"Hmm, really? How so?"
"First off, you put your shirt around a strange person, meaning you're a very selfless person."
I replied, rather emotionlessly,
"That's because you're so cute."
She gasped at this comment, then blushed furiously.
"Do-do you really mean that?" she managed to stammer.
I chuckled at this and said,
"If you're one to be easily distracted by an off-hand comment like that, you wouldn't make it very far in life."
She became quite angered, but quickly checked herself, and replied, sorrowfully,
"I don't believe I have much of a life..."
"Oh really? Why is that?" I questioned, quite curious.
She giggled and replied,
"Now YOU got distracted by an off-handed comment!"
"..."
"..."
I got up off my feet. The girl cried out after me.
"Wait! Wait! Please!"
I brushed off my knees and prepared to leave, as she continued to call out.
"Please! I'm sorry! It was only a joke!"
I took no more than two steps, before she quieted down a bit.
"Please...don't leave...I haven't had any visitors before..."
"Then why don't you head to that village over there?" I pointed to the area I was heading.
"I...I was banished from that village...and..."
She started to cry. I simply stood and stared. So there was a village.
"..."
Her crying finished. I sat back down, and patted her a few times on the back.
She looked at me with tears in her eyes and I managed an awkward smile, hoping to cheer her up.
She giggled a bit, shamelessly, and sat up.
"That...was my second reason."
"Hm?" I inquired.
"Me...being banished from the village. That was the second reason..."
At this she turned away from me.
I looked around. There was no village in sight.
"I...see," I lied.
The girl turned to look into my face, her deep-set, dark eyes sorrowfully peering into mine.
"You don't believe me, do you?"
"About what?"
"The village, you don't seem to believe me about it..."
"Well, it's hard to believe in something that you can't see, isn't it?"
Besides, isn't this the 22nd century? We shouldn't even have villages anymore, I thought to myself.
"Then how did you know that there was a village there?"
"I guessed. I didn't know the right terminology, so I said 'village'. Hope you didn't mind."
"...I see." She smiled at me.
I wondered what I was even doing here. If anything, I needed to go get help.
She looked at my face, wondering, and said:
"I didn't get your name...what is it?"
I sighed. I should have expected this to happen.
"Name's Esper. Esper Williams. Yours?"
She laughed.
"Esper? That's a silly name!"
"Yeah, well, deal with it."
She smiled brightly, then solemnly, then seemed to stop smiling altogether.
"...I don't have a name. If I did, I never knew it..."
"Well, then you have no right to criticize my name." I smiled at her.
She looked, depressed, toward the ground.
"...I have an idea," I said.
She looked at me with curiosity.
"How about I name you?"
She looked marvelled at this...but quickly became worried.
"But...we only just met..."
I smiled.
"That's alright, it's fine, really. Hey, you can have my last name, too."
"Really?! ...Is that really alright?"
"Yeah, it's fine. Now, we have to think of a name..."
I stared, deep in thought. What does she seem like?, Is she a good match with this name?, etc.
After a while of self-debate, I spoke.
"Julia."
She quickly jerked her head toward me.
"I'll name you Julia. Julia Williams. How does that sound?"
"Ah...okay...but why Julia?"
"It was my grandmother's name. I thought it should fit you."
She smiled at me to say thanks.
"No problem. Okay, Julia, I need to go to the village to get some info. Wanna come?"
She replied, rather suddenly,
"Oh! No, no, I can't. I'm not allowed back there."
I stared at her again.
"What if we make you look like a guy? heck, we'll name you Jude, just for the disguise. They'll never know."
She blushed furiously at this.
"Well--I--but...I-I--"
"Relax, I know a method. Here, let me go get some stuff. I'll be back."
I stood up...then realized something.
"Oh ka-ka, I don't have money."
Julia looked at me.
"I could...give you some...if you want," she replied.
I looked at her with astonishment.
"You have it?! MONEY?!"
"I'm sorry...I thought it would just be troublesome..."
"No no, that's friggin' great! I can go get stuff there! So where is it?"
She pulled out a small sack of coins and handed it to me.
"..."
...
...
"...You had this all along...and you never bothered using it?"
"That's not true! I...well..."
"You can talk to me."
"...I stole it!!"
"..."
...
...
"I'm sorry...if it bothers you too much, I can just take it back..."
"...You are amazing."
She blinked.
"Huh?"
"You went into the place you were banished from and stole some money. That in itself is amazing."
"The fact that you didn't get caught also is amazing."
She blushed.
"Yeah, well, it wasn't like I wasn't scared..."
I laughed.
"Who wouldn't? Hahaha!"
I patted her on the head a few times.
"Now, wait for a few moments. I'll be back with some equipment."
I'll finish it later. I'm putting it on here so I can quick-edit it directly from the website.
No idea what it's about. I'm basically sputtering out nonsense from my brain and putting it on a metaphorical sort of paper.
At any rate, I suck at these things so if you will please give constructive criticism.
(This is actually the script for a visual novel. If you don't know what that is, I suggest you go play Phoenix Wright.)


Last edited by Variant on Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:58 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : I changed it. I'm awesome.)



i'm gonna reach for the stars
(although they look pretty far)
i've never felt like this
i'll keep on running
i've got it in my sight
the colors feel so right

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Re: I'm just gonna put this here...

Post by Dragonartist713 on Tue Jun 09, 2009 9:37 pm

its a good start to whatever kind of story it turns out to be ^^ sometimes the 'stream of conscienceness' is the best way to write a story, kept in its most raw and natural state. keep up with it ^^



I Am the Red Artist
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." -Dr. Suess
Welcome to my Insanity.
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